Sunday, May 24, 2009

Joaquin Phoenix, please Walk the Line of hotness again!!!

Joaquin Phoenix, I demand that you come back to the hot side of life! PLEASE?? You are so gorgeous. So talented. So...gorgeous. Wait, I've already gone there.

What has happened to you, former hunka hunka burnin' hotness?!?!

This formerly gorgeous
bit o' man meat was born 28 October 1974, in San Juan, Puerto Rico, as Leaf Phoenix! He comes from a family of siblings with all very strange names. This didn't stop you from being completely drool-worthy in your various number of roles throughout the years!!

Joaquin, even though you were completely EVIL and insane,
I still adored you in "Gladiator" as Commodus! Why? Perhaps because you're HOT!!!! Just don't be killing Russell Crowe anymore, mmmkay?? He might throw a phone at you!

Oh, Joaquin, you made me bawl my eyes out at the end of "Ladder 49!" I needed two boxes of tissues and some serious TLC after that movie was over!

And we will never forget you as Johnny Cash (the man in
black) in "Walk the Line!" You've proven to us that you're capable of singing, and the late Mr. Cash would be so proud! And did I mention that you looked REALLY HOT in the movie??

You've accomplished so much in your acting career, a
nd gained so many stalkers loving fans as myself. Here's why:

Need I say more?? How could anyone not love you after all you've done for our eyes? And, my friend, you are a superb actor as well!

So now my question is...JOAQUIN! WHAT THE EFFSPICE HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!?!
This look is completely unacceptable, and all I can say is that I hope this is a publicity stunt and you will return to your former Celeb Man Meat hotness you once were!! I put you up here because you spent so much time dazzling me in past movies that I feel wrong in not letting everyone see what you're capable of, my friend.

So I digress! Joaquin, we miss you! We miss your hair, your smile, your days before the fat! Come back to us!!

See? That's hot! Even as evil Commodus, you were still hotter than the now crazy former hottie who gained some weight and some scruff and is now on the verge of INSANE!!!!Joaquin, we love you, we miss you, we want to drool over you once again! Please come back to us! That's an order!! Love ya! kthanxbye!

I'm OUT!



  1. I love him too, he comes from a quirky family,and his brother River, whom I was crazy about, died from a drug overdose. I worry about this guy, hopefully a publicity stunt!

  2. yeah...i'm hoping his life doesn't end tragically like river's. :(

    1. i fooled you all huh

  3. I fooled you