Sunday, May 24, 2009

Woah! Keanu! Radical!

I know Keanu is slowly losing his hotness as he ages but as an homage to his Matrix and Speed hotness we will include him on our blog of man meat because he has earned it over the years.

Keanu is still a stupid name though, sorry but it's true!

You are hot for so many reasons. The long black duster, long the staple of many a bad-ass hero guy whether it be vampire or human. The shooting scene in Matrix Reloaded and your ability to stop bullets by just holding up your hand. Your token hand gesture beckoning us makes us swoon!
Dude, leather pants rock my world! Not only did you save the world in the Matrix and save a bus full of speeding people and manage to fall in love with Sandra Bullock at 50 mph over several obstacles including jumping a bridge...woah! You saved those people at full speed and managed to look damn good in a white T-shirt doing it.

Here's to you Neo, the one, and the only. When you came to life as Neo we knew we were in love with the Matrix. You and your bad ass duster showed us that no computer can take the place of a real piece of man meat.

You saved the world and just like in Speed you looked really good doing it. We bow to you oh chosen one...the only thing you haven't ever been is a vampire and that makes us shiver with a little wave down our backs in pleasure thinking about it. You playing a vampire would be sexyspice! You have taken a hiatus from your movies and you sing in a band...maybe one day you will have a girlfriend for real.

A salute my dear Neo, Keanu, whatever other wierd name you want to be called. I would take a bullet for you, but I wouldn't really have to since you can just reprogram the Matrix to stop the bullet or to take it out of my body like you did in the movie. That girl was not hot enough for your Neo, but to me neither is Sandra Bullock. I definitely wouldn't kick you out of bed!

I have to admit though, when you are scruffy, you ain't so hot! Stay clean and shave on occasion and you will age gracefully and still make our heart go pitter pat.sorry Keanu you deserve better banter but I'm blocked right now...lamespice...although you super hot..I am not inspired by anyone right now...this post will eventually not suck...

Kthanxbye for now until I feel inspired once again...

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